Category: Life

I’m not saying that I’m an expert at this by any means, but lots of my friends do seem to come to me to ask for help and advice with their love lives. These past few weeks saw me talking through the options with a friend of mine. He’s an older divorcee and really keen to find someone new to date seriously, and hopefully have a second chance to do all those fun things like moving in and making a home together.

But, as I said to him, you have to start at the beginning. You eat an elephant one bite at a time, and you start a relationship with a single message or conversation. But how best to start those conversations, especially in during a local pandemic when talking to strangers is frowned upon, and socialising with people outside of your household has become a thing of the past?

Dating Agency Gloucestershire

There’s loads of ways to get online and start exploring the world of online dating. Apps where you can swipe right, apps that tell you when someone nearby is looking to meet, and giant global websites that can facilitate connections all over the world. However I’m not sure that these giants of the online dating world are the best way forward. These days, as I told my friend, I tend to go more local.

So I recommended a Gloucestershire dating site to him and urged him to give local dating a try before he went for one of the big, household names. This way, as I said to him, you’re in with more of a chance of meeting someone nearby who you can more easily start to build a life with.

I think that local dating sites need a slightly different approach. Be more guarded with your personal information than you might be on a larger site or app. It’s much easier for someone local to identify you and your habits based on casual information that you might give out in conversation. But on the other hand, it’s much easier for you to both find a mutually convenient place to meet – you’re both local to each other, so this should be a cinch!

The other tip I have for local online dating is that if it all goes wrong just try to make sure you leave things on good terms if possible. You’re likely to see each other around your local area in the future, and it can be a rubbish experience for all concerned if those interactions in the future are awkward or even downright unpleasant. So be polite if you say you don’t want to see someone again whenever you can.

I’m really looking forward to seeing how my friend gets on. He signed up a week ago and he’s already talking to someone who he’s hoping to meet for a coffee after this lockdown is over! As is true in so many areas of our life, going local really does seem to be the way forward. So have fun and stay safe. Don’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable.

I know, it’s been a rough year. The global pandemic has changed everything. But this is traditionally the season when we all start to settle down with someone for the winter, and why should Covid stop us having any fun?

Whenever I head home for Christmas to see my family, I always try an squeeze in two different things. The first is lunch (or at least coffee) with an old friend from school. The second is a date of some kind. Usually I start looking around for a date towards the end of November. I change my location on dating apps and websites and then see if anyone interesting is about!

I know that it seems like a strange thing to do. Going on a date with someone who isn’t in your local area just seems like it’s a recipe for a long-distance relationship that ultimately is destined to end in heartbreak when one or the other gets too busy to be able to put the time in. But hear me out. I like dating in different areas to where I live for a few really good reasons.

Firstly because it means they’re not on your doorstep! If you’re anything like me you’ll really value your space. I’ve dated local guys before and eventually, you fall into a routine where they’re round several times a week and suddenly awkward questions start to be raised about moving in. No thanks. I’m quite happy to keep my love-life at, well, driving distance.

The second is that it means you have good opportunities for more dates whenever you’re in the area! I travel quite a bit for university conferences and seminars, so I find myself around the country fairly frequently (but not so much this year – thanks covid). It’s really nice to be able to ask someone out for dinner that you already know is interesting because you’ve been on a date with them already. And if something else happens? Well, that’s even better.

New areas and new opportunities

This year is going to be a bit different. One of my parents has moved to a different part of the country, so I’ll be looking for local love for the first time in Lincolnshire! I’m really excited to try a Licolnshire dating site or two and see who is looking for love near where I’m spending the Christmas holidays.

I’ve never tried Licolnshire dating before, so this is all going to be a new experience. And I’ll be sure to write a post in the new year letting you know how I got on! I’m hoping I’ll find someone that I can see each time I head over to visit my family, even if it’s just a coffee date. But more than coffee would be ideal.

Top tips for Christmas dating while visiting a new area

1. Make sure you’re upfront with your date. Don’t pretend you live there all year round because they might feel duped if they’re looking for something different. I always make sure that they know that this is the local area for my family, but I’m pretty nomadic and move around a fair bit.
2. Establish a relationship with them online first. Get to know them before you meet them in person to make sure that you’re not wasting your precious holiday time. If they seem a bit dull online they’re not going to get better in person.
3. Stay in contact with them after the date to keep things sweet for future meets. I’m not saying that you have to pester them every day (although if you both really get on well then I guess I’m not going to tell you how to live your life), but drop them a WhatsApp message every week or two to see how things are going. Or, you know, perhaps a Zoom call in our brave new world.

Whatever you do, do it safely

I don’t need to tell you that we need to be a bit more careful this year when dating. And if you’re staying with family as I will be, take extra precautions. I’ll be trying to arrange any dates on the last two days of my visit to family this year. That way my family are hopefully less at risk of catching covid if my date is asymptomatic for the disease.

But most of all you need to make sure you’re having fun. If it doesn’t feel like fun, then don’t go through with it. Drop them a message if you’re not feeling it, it’s the polite thing to do. Don’t just leave them hanging, and don’t make them take a journey out if you’re not planning to meet them.

Let me know if you have any success with Christmas dating while visiting family this year! I’d love to hear all about it.

I think that the biggest benefit of the coronavirus lockdown on my dating life is that it’s slowed things down. I’ve had more deep and meaningful chats with virtual strangers over the past two months than I have in a very long time. And the best thing about it? There’s no awkwardness when you wonder who is going to pick up the bill at the end of dinner.

This pandemic has slowed things down and forced a return to more traditional, drawn out dating. I feel like I’m really getting to know people at the moment, before we ever move on to anything physical. Of course it might turn out that they’re not that great in person, but that’s a risk you always take regardless. And I’m trying to see this exploration of people as a new way to make friends if it doesn’t work out, as well as lovers.

I know that lots of my friends have been enjoying video chats with prospective partners during this time. That’s not really for me, but I did find someone who is also a bit of a videogames addict and we’ve been playing some multiplayer games together! That’s a pretty quick way to find out if you’re compatible – if you can play competitive games in the early stages without an argument, I’m pretty sure it’s a match!

Planning for after the pandemic

Of course, at some point when we’re all allowed back out, I’m keen to actually meet up with the people I’ve been talking to. So I’ve been trying to keep the people I put time and effort into relatively local.

Local dating sites have proven particularly useful, as it means that people aren’t looking for long distance relationships (I already have one of those – I can’t cope with another). Obviously a dating site for my local town would be a bit niche, but I’ve had early success on a Birmingham dating site, since Birmingham is my closest big city.

Meeting up in a big city also gives you lots of options for things to do, so dating Birmingham residents is a big plug if you’re in one of the local Midlands towns. Although I’m not sure what kind of activities we’ll do. I’m sort of hoping that maybe the art galleries will be open and we can be nervously distant while doing something cultural, but I suspect the reality will be sitting a meter apart on a wall eating takeaway or something!

Either way, I’m hoping that the people I’ve been chatting to online want to continue to talk. I’m rather enjoying this exploration of personalities and finding more out about people. Hopefully it’ll lead to a greater success rate than I usually have in the flesh!

Will it change permanently?

I can’t help wondering if this new, slower form of dating (or is it a return to an older style of dating) will hang around long after the lockdown has gone. I’m in two minds as to how I feel about that. On the one hand, this slower pace of life is kind of nice. But on the other, sometimes you don’t really want to know someones life story, you just want to hook up, get it done, and get out.

But for now, I’m happy having videogames dates with long, late night conversations attached.

We face such extraordinary times over the coming weeks and months. The UK is in lockdown because of the global pandemic and people all over are trying to work out what their lives look like both in the immediate future and over the coming months and even years.

Nothing will ever be the same again, that’s for sure. The way we interact, the way we carry on our social lives has changed. And that means dating will change too.

Make connections now–think online dating

Don’t be afraid to carry on making connections. We might be on lockdown from the outside world, but that doesn’t mean we can’t keep chatting on dating websites or apps. In fact, it’s a great way to get your daily social fix.

Wondering where to find a few such apps or websites? This Thought Catalog Article can help you out in this regard. It can offer you a comprehensive list of the best online dating apps and websites so that you do not spend evenings alone in the darkness.

Look local

And if you’re making connections online with a view to meet up as soon as social distancing is over it might be best to focus your attention locally. It’s tough times for everyone financially, and travelling to dates is going to be an expense that many of us won’t be able to justify once the country returns to some semblance of normal.

Local dating sites are really the best way to make these connection happens. For instance if you’re looking for a Yorkshire dating site then check out Love Yorkshire Singles. And a quick Google search will turn up other similar local options too! For example, those looking for Hampshire dating might find luck on Love Hampshire Singles.

The more I try local dating sites the more I convinced they’re the way forward. Forget the huge, faceless corporate sites that operate globally. What’s the point in chatting to someone in another country? Better to look locally and actually find someone you can go out for coffee with when this has all blown over!

Keeping it interesting

You might be wondering how you can keep it interesting in the long period that you can’t meet up. I struggle with this myself – I usually look to meet for coffee after just a handful of messages.

But these are unusual times that perhaps require bold solutions! Maybe it’s time to move to more intimate chatting earlier than you usually would. Throw caution into the wind! Try dirty talks, sexting, or watching porn together on websites similar to PornV to build up that sexual tension. While you might not be together in one space, you can still have some fun in a lockdown. If you are really interested in the person you found on a dating site, the sexual tension and buildup can turn into an explosive romance when you decide to meet once the COVID-19 lockdown gets lifted.

Don’t forget to stay safe online, don’t give out any personal details that might enable someone to track you down, and block liberally at the first sign of creepy behavior!

I’d love to hear how you get on with your local dating during this period of lockdown. If you have success then drop me a line and let me know! I’ve already lined up a couple of local dates for when we’re allowed out and about more freely, so I’ll report back in the future when we’ve been out for coffee!

Being single on Valentine’s day seems like the worst. But honestly, it doesn’t have to be. There’s plenty of things you can do that don’t need a partner, and it’s a particularly great time to make some space for a bit of self-love. But if you do fancy going out on a date, there’s nothing wrong with that either!

Here are some of my favourite things that I’ve done on Valentine’s day over the years:

Book yourself a spa day

Honestly, the place will be dead. All those cute couples will be off somewhere else enjoying their posh night out, and you’ll have the place virtually to yourself. You could even make it a date with your bestie and enjoy the treat together.

Just do one thing for me – pick the luxury package. You deserve to be spoilt every now and again, even if you have to spoil yourself.

Show yourself some love

There’s no easy way to say this – sometimes the thing you need to do is get into bed, maybe with a toy or two, and go for it. Who needs a partner when you have, well, your hand? Take a look at GayPornHD or a similar site to really spice things up, and you’ll be seeing stars in no time. At the end of the day, you’re the only one who knows what you really like, so you’re always going to have a good time by yourself anyway!

Have a party with your single friends

I know in our thirties it feels like all our friends have got married and had babies, but I know that if you look around you’ll find a few more people who are single this February.

Throw a party and invite them all. I’m entirely sure that some of them will have been dreading the 14th too, and will be more than happy for the invite!

And there’s nothing wrong with throwing a Valentine’s theme party either – tell everyone to wear red or pink, watch silly romcoms on Netflix (Bridget Jones is always my first choice, followed by The Proposal), do Valentine crafts you found on Pinterest and celebrate your friendship. Just like you did in primary school when you wrote ‘Happy Valentine’ cards for everyone in the class!

Stay off social media

I love friend-dates for Valentine’s Day, and I don’t mind being on my own, but what I really hate is the outpouring of cuteness on social media. I love my friends, but they really do love to proclaim their gooey love at this time of year, and there’s only so much of that I can take…

So I take a social media holiday for a few days most years and use the time to get stuff done that’s been languishing at the bottom of my to-do list for far too long. If you’re sick of other peoples crushingly lovesick statuses, then this may well work for you!

Get yourself some flowers

The best way to keep your mood up on Valentine’s Day is to get yourself a gift. There’s no better gift for an occasion like this than a set of flowers. A good bouquet of your favorite roses or orchids could make for a nice memory, and freshen up your house as well. You can have them delivered to your home as well. If you live in the Clyde North area, for example, all you have to do is google “Clyde North Flowers Delivery” or something to that effect (depending on your location), and you can find a good florist near you.

Go on a date

Sometimes if you can’t beat them, you’re better off joining them. But you’ve not got long before Valentine’s Day, so you’d better start looking for your new beau sooner rather than later. There are plenty of free dating sites UK singles can check out in order to find a cheeky Valentine’s Date.

In fact, sites like matchmehappy make it easy. Just log on, create a profile, and you’ll be well on your way to finding another single keen for a date on Valentine’s Day.

There’s nothing that says Valentine’s Day has to be exclusively for established couples. If you fancy a bit of the flirting and none of the long-term commitment then you do you!

But whatever you do, be happy

If you don’t want to do anything, they don’t do anything. If you want to sit around in your nightie and eat a whole tub of Phish Food ice cream, then do it! We only get one chance at life and the most important thing is to make ourselves happy… even on Valentine’s Day!

But whatever you do, stay safe. And embrace the single life. Honestly, it’s a whole lot of fun to have this much freedom!

It’s just the way that things have worked out, but I’ve always been a long-distance dater and I’ve never really thought it was time to try local dating. Moving around the country so much has meant that I’ve made connections in all kinds of places, and I’ve often preferred to turn friendships into romantic connections instead of starting from scratch.

But with a PhD in progress long-distance dating is becoming harder. It consumes more time than I really have spare and I no longer have the money to go on three-hour drives just for coffee. Instead, I’ve increasingly found myself looking online to find new connections in my local area.

Changing the way that you look at dating can be tough, so here are my top tips for making the switch from long-distance dating to something more local.

Keep your safety in mind

Look, I’m not saying that everyone in the dating scene is an axe murderer, but it can be good to take precautions in order to stay safe. So, when using dating sites, consider going through a plethora of reviews such as this twomance review before choosing a site that has adequate safety protocols in place for your protection. Another way to ensure your safety while online dating is to either drive or get public transport to your date location (and if you drive, ensure you stick to non-alcoholic beverages).

I usually walk from my home into town, so I always schedule something to do after a date, even if it’s just grocery shopping. That way I know I’m unlikely to be followed home by my date. Don’t forget to also let a friend know what you’re doing, and make sure you check in with them after the date so that they don’t worry.

My number one tip is always meet for coffee, not beers. And don’t give out any information to your date that you’re not comfortable with!

Try a local dating site

I never knew that these existed until quite recently, but there are dating sites that just focus on your local area! That’s much better than chatting to someone for days and then finding out that they’re at the other end of the country (a dealbreaker for me, certainly).

If you’re looking for a Suffolk dating site you might find that Love Suffolk Singles works for you. Equally, if you’re up in Scotland and looking for Fife dating, you’d probably have more luck on the site Love Fife Singles than a general site.

These local dating sites can provide the kind of love and companionship that is harder to find on some of the bigger national or even global dating sites. If people are looking local they’re almost certainly going to be looking to spend more quality time with the people that they meet for romance!

Join a club or evening class

If the idea of online dating doesn’t sit quite right, then perhaps consider taking up a new hobby instead. Even my local town is full of classes and clubs – everything from beginners squash at the local sports centre to a book club at my favourite breakfast spot.

The good thing about joining a club to meet new people is that you already know you’ll have something in common with them, and this can be a great icebreaker when you finally get them out for coffee!

A word to the wise though – don’t start eyeing people up as potential dates immediately. Give it a while. Otherwise, you’ll just be that weird, creepy person that nobody wants to hang out with.

Take it slow… or don’t

Whatever you decide is best, take things at your own speed and don’t let other people or society dictate what should work for you. If you and your potential love interest are ready to take things to the next level, then you should. Why wait around when you both feel that same level of attraction? If you really want to, add some excitement to the mix. For example, if you both have a love of anime, then a handful of videos on sites like Tube v Sex can help you to get in the mood for a night of pleasure. Or, take it slow and start by having a date every other week and establish a relationship from there. You do you and make yourself happy.

Explore the local dating scene, meet people online, and most of all just go out and have fun. You never know who you might meet and fall for. And the best thing about dating locally is that they’re on your doorstep whenever you fancy seeing them. I’m already dreaming of all that quality time I can spend with a person that I would otherwise have spent sitting in my car on the motorway…

You might think that once summer is over it’s time to call a halt to your dating life for the year. But let me tell you, there’s something magical about dating in autumn.

I don’t know about you, but I love the crisp chill of autumn evenings and the darkness of winter when I’m going out on dates. Getting wrapped up warm and then having an excuse to cuddle together as it gets colder can be a great ice breaker.

I have been contemplating a trip up to the Isle of Man for a while now, and of course I’d combine it with a date or two! There’s so much I’d like to do there, and doing it with company is always more fun.

There’s opportunities to explore the local wildlife on the island, including an amazing puffin colony! I don’t think I’ve ever seen a puffin so this would be top of my list. Isle of Man Dating is looking more fun the more I research.

There’s also seals on the island too, and you can take a boat trip to get right up close to them. Boat trips with an autumn chill in the air and an excuse to get close to your beau? I’m right there already on a website for Isle of Man Singles!

One of the other interesting ways to see the island, if boats aren’t really your thing, is the heritage railway network. You might think that trains aren’t really your thing, but it’s certainly a quirky idea for a date that will mean you’re never forgotten.

The heritage network will take you around the island, letting you stop off to visit sights as diverse as a tenth-century Viking boat burial, a medieval castle, or a museum on the maritime history of the island. Make sure you swot up in advance so that you can impress your date with your knowledge of the island!

Eating and Drinking

I almost always prefer more casual eating on dates. If it’s the first or second time you’ve met someone you might not want to commit to a sit down meal just in case you don’t gel.Instead I tend to go for coffee or similar, but the Isle of Man offers some more interesting alternatives.

In September there’s the annual food and drink festival which offers you the chance to try new things with your date – all local produce of course. How better to show your eco-credentials than shopping local?

But if organised activities are more your thing then there’s a tour of a local lamb farm or a visit to a living museum specialising in the traditional curing of kippers! Perhaps check if your date is vegan before you book.

If you prefer traditional pubs with a nice warm fire then there’s a number of organised walks you can take which will allow you sample plenty of booze with your date. Perfect for afternoon dates that roll into the evening, as autumn rolls into winter.

I remember mine. It was quite a while ago now, 15 years at least, and proms just weren’t such a big thing here in the UK as they were over in the US. It was more like a big party to see everyone before you knuckled down, did your exams, and then scattered all over the country to various universities.

I didn’t really have the money to buy a proper dress for various reasons so I decided to make my own. This wasn’t a surprise to anyone – my grandparents worked as a tailor and seamstress so I’d been brought up sewing for most of my life.

The dress itself was fine, but I have no idea what I was thinking when it came to choosing the fabric! I’m a very small person. Just 5ft tall and I was a pretty slim teenager. For some reason I decided to use a black fabric with huge flowers printed on it. It would have looked great on someone eight inches taller than me! Even with skyscraper high heels I still managed to get lost in that floral print!

My dress that I made for my boyfriend’s sixth form ball was much better. It was navy satin, backless, with a plunging neckline. I wish I still had the pattern today, it would be so in style right now! I think I learned from seeing the pictures of my own ball and chose a plain fabric instead. Now if I’m buying or making a dress for a formal occasion I always buy plain colours. Patterns are just so hard to pull of when you’re petite!

What I’d Have Done Differently

Aside from choosing a different dress fabric, I think I’d have hired a cool car to drop me off and pick me up. The hotel that the event was at had a beautiful huge driveway where everyone having drinks could see you arrive.

I wasn’t cool at school, but I’ve always had a bit of a soft spot for lovely cars. I especially love sports cars in racing livery – this car here would have been perfect for me!

The American trend for having pre-prom photos taken in your dress is really nice and I hope that takes off over here. The only photos my parents have of me really from when I was a teenager are my horrible school uniform photos. The opportunity to have “senior” photos done in a fancy ball gown with a nice car would be something that I think most young people would treasure forever.

There are some great prom car hire ideas here. I had a friend at school who would have loved the 60s V-Dub they have on their list. And could you imagine turning up to your sixth form ball or prom in a replica of the Ghostbusters car? Or a New York yellow taxi cab?

So many teenagers now are finding it much easier to express themselves because of the way that social media and the internet has transformed our culture. I like to think that turning up to their big send-off from school or college could be a wonderful extension of that.

While I love travelling with friends, I sometimes think there’s nothing better than travelling with a significant other. Traditionally a honeymoon was often the first big, meaningful trip that a couple would take together. But things have changed now. We’re far more likely to be taking big trips abroad with more frequency than our parents generation ever did.

I’m pretty sure I won’t get married, but that isn’t going to stop me taking “honeymoons” with my partners regularly! And I guess by honeymoon I mean one of those wonderful, romantic trips that sticks in your memory for life. So without further ado, here are some of the Europe honeymoons I want to take over the next few years with someone special.

Amsterdam

This year the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam will be holding a special blockbuster exhibition that brings together twenty two paintings by Rembrandt, as well as many other drawings and smaller works! This is pretty much my idea of a perfect romantic honeymoon getaway. Planning a week in a gorgeous European country centred around a once-in-a-lifetime cultural event is my idea of heaven.

I love theming my cultural trips too – so I’d totally make the painting above, which is believed to be an image of two lovers (possibly even Rembrands’ son) the central attraction. I’d then make sure to see some other works in the Rijksmuseum’s collection that are romantically themed, and spend idyllic evenings wandering along the beautifully lit up canals!

Italy

If adventure was top of my list, as well as the opportunity for stylish Italian romance, I’d be heading to Sorrento. I first went to Italy when I was at school studying Latin and I fell in love with the country. In fact that’s probably one of the reasons I’m studying History of Art now!

Sorrento makes a great base for exploring the local area. There’s culture to be found in the ruins of Pompeii and Herculaneum. There’s glamour and glitz if you take a ferry and cross to the incredibly beautiful island of Capri (there’s also amazing snorkeling too apparently). And if you truly want a unique adventure you can climb to the summit of Mount Vesuvius and walk in the crater of this active volcano!

I highly recommend walking up Vesuvius – it’s a memory I will never forget. I just can’t wait to take someone special there and share the memory with them too.

Adventure Honeymoons

If I was looking for adventure in particular, I would love to book a 2 seat spitfire by going to Spitfires (or a similar site) to enjoy the aerial view of Wales with my significant other steering the aircraft. Even thinking about it gives me butterflies in my stomach, trust me! I lived in Dyfed for three years and loved every moment of the experience. My weekends were filled with rock climbing, kayaking, and hiking and I’d love to share these kinds of moments with someone special to me on a unique honeymoon.

The picture above is of Cadair Idris, a mountain in North Wales. It’s not as popular as Snowdonia but it is worth climbing for that spectacular view! Adventure honeymoons don’t have to happen in some incredibly exotic location half way around the world, fun can be found closer to home too. In fact you could probably do all three trips that I’ve talked about here for the same price as two weeks abroad in an all-inclusive beach resort! That’s not to say one kind of honeymoon is better than another, but just that there are fun alternatives to the traditional options!