Category: Dating

To state the obvious, dating during a global pandemic has been challenging. However I’m hearing from many of my gaming friends that being a gamer has put them in a unique position to explore virtual dating. Many gamers already rely on technology to organize their gaming sessions and communicate with friends and guildmates, so it’s been a natural and logical leap to start dating using the same technology.

All you need to start is a headset with a microphone and a way to talk to each other. You don’t even need a webcam, because you’ll have the game up on your screen so you wouldn’t be able to see each other anyway! The software that gamers use to talk is diverse and there are plenty of options. You’ve probably already got some of them installed on your computer! For just one to one chats Skype can be good, or you could use Zoom but they cut your call off after 40 minutes if you only have the free plan.

However, I like to use Discord; as do many gamers all over the world. It’s incredibly easy to make a private server for yourself and your date and use the standard voice channels that are automatically set up. Once you have your own private server with a voice channel it’s easy to either dip in and out whenever you feel like it, or you can schedule times to see each other online. Another advantage of Discord is that you can keep all your chatting here. You never have to give out a personal phone number, email address, or social media profile. It’s a great way to keep yourself safe online while you’re dating, since it’s easy to just cut contact with your date if things start to get a little too weird.

But where do you meet other gamers who are looking to date? Well, you could take a look at gamers-date.com/ which is a dating site for gamers. It has been set up specifically to help gamers meet other gamers that are looking for relationships. If you’re a gamer, it can be quite hard trying to explain to a potential partner that you’re not available three nights a week because you’re raiding with your guild… so dating a gamer totally helps out that conversation in my experience!

Which games should you play?

Gaming is obviously a highly individual choice. Not everyone enjoys the same kinds of games, but it should be easy to find a common ground when you’re dating one of those gamers. I’ve been on a few virtual dates where I played World of Warcraft Shadowlands with my date. I made sure to keep myself safe by playing on a character other than my main to prevent any problems if we fell out but you can also block players in game if things turn sour.

But you might be wondering what we did. Well, we did all kinds of things together! We toured around Azeroth visiting some of our favorite places, we did some quests together in the Shadowlands, and we even did LFR together! Although since I was on an alt character, my performace was pretty bad, so you might want to leave that one for a second or third date…

But you don’t have to play games like Warcraft on online dates. It would be just as easy to play something a little easier to dip in and out of. I’m currently planning a date with an old friend next week and we’re going to make use of the multiplayer mode in Stardew Valley to play together. If it goes well then we’ll work together to grow and progress our farm. You could also take a similar cooperative approach to Minecraft. I have my own server hosted at home, but you could easily either play on a large established server owned by someone else, or pay a small subscription fee for a few months.

The key is that you have fun and enjoy yourself together. Make it into a bit of an occasion, just as you would have done pre-pandemic. This is, in many ways, no different to going to an art gallery together or meeting up for a few hours for lunch. The point is that you make an excuse to spent time together so that you can chat and get to know each other. So relax and enjoy each other’s company. And hopefully when we’re back to meeting up in person, you’ll already know loads about each other and be ready to take your relationship to the next stage!

I was chatting to a friend online at the start of this second lockdown here in the UK, and he said to me that he was thinking about forming a bubble with a man he had met on a local dating site. You see he worked through the first lockdown which meant he saw colleagues and friends at work regularly, but he hasn’t been fortunate enough to have work available during this most recent lockdown so he’s been pretty lonely.

At first it sounded pretty risky to me. I mean, is this really how we should be behaving during a global pandemic? Forming bubbles with people we barely know? But actually the more I thought about it the more sensible it seemed – as long as everyone is safe and adheres to the rules that the government has laid out.

Since I thought it was a great idea (and actually, it’s worked out well for my friend) I thought I’d round up my top tips for forming a bubble with someone new that you’ve met during the pandemic.

Hit up a local dating site

There are lots of options for local dating sites if you have a search on Google. For instance, Hertfordshire singles could take a look at this Hertfordshire dating site. Why stay local? Well, travel restrictions mean that you can’t travel so much during a global pandemic. For good reason too – public transport is incredibly risky, and if you’re driving then the last thing you want is an accident which could land you in hospital and at more risk of contracting covid. Leave the travelling for the key workers, and help lift the pressure on the emergency services and the NHS.

Establish trust

Forming a bubble with someone you don’t know very well requires a fair bit of trust. Go on a few socially distanced dates with the person you’re considering bubbling with, and get a general feel for what they’re like. Remember, you’re ideally committing to them for the duration of lockdown and you’re most likely going to have them in your home. Is this the kind of person you want to share your life with, even if it’s just temporary?

Know where you stand

Is this a month-long agreement for a short lockdown, or is this a kind of trial for a longer-term relationship? Make sure you talk about what you both want to get out of the situation before you form your bubble. Communication is key, especially during a pandemic.

Take precautions

No, not just those kind of precautions (but take those too). Don’t just jump in to your bubble. It’s a good idea to both try and isolate as much as possible before you form your bubble to make sure, as far as possible, that you’re not carrying the virus. Remember that once you’ve bubbled with someone and become a joint household, that you are responsible for their health and wellbeing as well as your own. If you, or they, can’t behave respectfully before and during bubbling, then perhaps this isn’t a situation that’s going to work very well.

It’s easy to think that lockdown has relegated single people to being single for what feels like forever. But if you look a little closer there’s some lovely, romantic stories of local love being found amongst the apocalyptic nightmare that 2020 has felt like.

People, including myself, are still dating. But it looks different this year. We’ve had to be more creative and come up with new ways to meet people. My old advice of “get off dating apps and into a coffee shop as soon as possible” no longer worked, I’ve had to take a different approach, as have many others!

What new approaches have people used?

From reading other blogs and hearing stories from my friends, I know that many people have taken a local approach to dating. Instead of being willing to travel for miles for the right person, they have instead been looking to local sites and local networking groups for singles. Some of my friends who are Dorset singles have been exploring an exciting local Dorset dating site, and I’m hearing the same from all over the country.

With travel restrictions in place that are often meaning we can’t leave our local area, it has been time to reassess the way we look at people on dating sites, and not just immediately pass them by because one little thing on their profile puts us off. I know I’ve been guilty in the past of simply rejecting people because they didn’t seem very exciting, or because they didn’t match everything I was looking for.

Instead I’ve been giving people more of a chance, and having a chat with them instead. It’s not like I’ve got much else to do in the evenings, sitting at home and not being allowed to do the things I would usually be doing. And I’ve been pleasantly surprised. Even though lots of people don’t have great profiles on the various online dating sites, they’re really great people underneath it all. They just can’t write a profile to save their lives!

So because I’ve relaxed my usual criteria for meeting people from dating sites and chatted to them for an extended amount of time instead, I’ve found myself making more connections than I normally would in the same amount of time. And I’m not saying that all of them will turn into connections, but it is always good to know more people. Just last week someone who I probably wasn’t compatible with (and he had realised that too) suggested a friend to me that he thought would be more my kind of guy. Turns out he was right – and we’re grabbing coffee at Neros in a few days after the national lockdown ends!

So don’t be dispirited if you feel like the summer of dating you had planned has passed you by. Instead get on some local dating sites and start meeting people who, like you, are stuck in your local area and are also looking for love. Worst case scenario you make new friends for adventures when the restrictions list. But you never know – you might find someone who you end up dating for years to come!

This year, many of us have had the time on our hands to think about what is really important to us in our lives. Some of my friends have had the revelation that long-distance relationships and hours on the road or public transport aren’t actually something that they’re looking forward to once things slowly start getting back to normal. I can relate to this feeling well – long motorway drives to see your beau really do get tiring after a while.

So if you’ve come to a similar conclusion, what do you do?

One of my older friends has been started on a journey of becoming more and more environmentally friendly in the way that he lives his life, and as a result, has decided to give up his car and reduce his public transport use. He decided that he would specifically try and date locally from now on, reducing his environmental footprint on the earth. He recommended to friends this Merseyside dating site that specialises in connecting people in his local area.

His recommendation stirred a surprising response amongst friends on Facebook. Many wondered if he was narrowing his dating pool too much. Would he really find his perfect eco-friendly and adventure-loving date on such a niche website? Both he and I think it’s more than possible, so we got together and made a list of our top tips.

5 Tips for Finding Local Love

Find the right dating site.

My friend found his dating site by putting the phrase dating agency Merseyside into a Google search. Once he was there he checked out the features and made sure that it offered everything he wanted in a dating site. Spending time to find the right site can really pay off in the end, and is better than scatter gunning lots of different sites.

Create a great profile

Let’s be straight – nobody will meet you if you have a terrible profile. Be honest about your likes and dislikes, but perhaps leave out anything particularly odd – that’s the kind of info best saved for the second date! And make sure you have a clear photo that shows you smiling. People really react well to photos of other people smiling – it actually makes them feel happier!

Be honest about what you want

My friend stated openly and honestly that he was looking for someone local who was as passionate as him about leading a more eco-friendly lifestyle. The result has been that he’s chatting to a couple of people who have the same interests as him! Being up front really does weed out many people who would otherwise be completely incompatible with you.

Start talking

In these strange times we’re getting quite used to chatting online for extended amounts of time. Video calls, phone calls, messaging apps – we’ve got them all! But if you’re not up for a Zoom call (or anything else) with your date then explain your boundaries clearly. If your date doesn’t respect your wishes then they’re not for you.

Be prepared to take it offline

Lockdown will end. Hopefully soon. And when it does, be prepared to meet up offline. It can be quite anxiety-inducing at the moment for many people to go out and meet new people, but we must start to get used to the fact that our lives have been irreversibly changed. If you’re nervous about meeting up then explain this to your date – a good person who is right for you will always understand.