Diet Noodles

There’s nothing more miserable than being on a diet. I’ve always hated dieting. I hated dieting when I was trying to lose my teenage puppy fat. I hated dieting when I was losing kg’s for powerlifting competitions and I hated dieting when I was trying to re-find my abs. And now I hate dieting again, trying to shed the weight I’ve put on since my surgery last summer.

I know what’s going to fall out of your mouth next; ‘you’re not fat Char!’ Save it – honestly. The fact is, that I used to weigh about 52kg, and now I’m almost 62kg. You might be thinking ‘that’s hardly anything, I weigh X amount – are you saying I need to diet?’ but you have to remember that I am 5ft tall and very small-boned. Putting 10kg on is a 20% increase for me. Add 20% of your weight and size onto what you are now… still think I don’t need to diet?

‘It’s only 10kg’ you might say – but see the point above. It’s such a large portion of my total weight that it’s very hard to shed. I have a Basal Metabolic Rate of about 1400 which means I need to consume about 1650 calories a day because I have a pretty sedentary lifestyle.

There’s a fairly inaccurate rule of thumb (but good enough for working out guidelines) than to lose 1lb you need to lose 3500 calories from your diet somewhere (because 1lb of human fat stores the energy of 3500 calories). So in order for me to lose 1lb a week (a sensible amount to lose) I’d have to eat 500 less calories a day. Easy, you might think. But take 500 away from 1650 and you’re left with 1150 calories daily allowance.

This isn’t really good. My daily goal is about 1200, because I struggle to function on less than that. I get hungry, grouchy and quickly fed up. In short, I become a complete dick to be around. My brainpower also noticeably stops working as well too.

But I think I might have found a solution.


Screen Shot 2015-05-27 at 18.00.08Diet noodles.

As unappetising as they sound.

Actually they’re made from a type of Japanese Yam or something and they’re not too bad. They come from Bulk Powders (<- Please use my referral link, you get £5 off or something) and they’re about £2 a pack. Pretty expensive, but as you can see above it’s a quick way to substitute pasta with something that is only 12 calories. They’re not nutritionally great. You must take a multivitamin alongside – especially if you’re vegetarian like me.

I’m also taking their fat attack stack. Catchy, huh? It’s basically a couple of packs of thermogenics and some CLA supplements. Thermogenic supplements basically raise your body temperature and help you to burn more calories while doing nothing. Sounds like a miracle product, huh? I guess so. But very expensive with very little gain. However my body has been quite responsive to them in the past, so I’m trying them again. This time I’m taking the full stimulant in the morning followed by a stimulant free version at lunchtime and in the evening. The conjugated linoleic acids I’m going to start by taking once a day. They’re basically fatty acids that vegetarians can struggle to get into their diet, a lack of them in the diet can cause the body to attempt to store fat – I believe. So it seems sensible to try and put the things in that I’m missing too.

It’s pretty grim though. I hate dieting. But I hate being overweight more. When I looked down the other day I couldn’t see my toes as I stood in the shower. I know that it was just before my period so I was bloated AND I’d eaten chips, but it’s not the point really. I want to be able to eat chips, have my period AND still be able to see my toes.

And I’ve got lots of weekends in fields coming up. Where the temptation is to just eat crap.